This is a bit of a trick post, because I don’t believe you can get kids to “behave” for a photo session. Let’s think about what that really means: bribing or threatening them to look into the camera and smile? That will result in super-phony smiles, which isn’t what we’re here for.

That said, there are ways to create connection with children, calm their nerves, and create the optimal conditions for a successful photo session. After all, you’ve spent so much time, energy and money for this event, it makes sense that you don’t want your children to sabotage it!

Here are my five tips for getting kids to behave during a photo session:

Get a snack
Don’t plan to wait until after the session to have dinner or breakfast. Or if you do, make sure the kids have a hearty and filling snack beforehand, and stuff a couple extra in your bag too! We’re often playing, running around and walking during sessions, so they may get hungrier than you think. Nobody is harder to console than a hungry kiddo.
Let your children lead
Yep, that’s right, your children will be determining much of how the session flows. And this is a good thing! You want to capture this season of life as authentically as possible. When your child leads, they show us what they’re excited about, and they’re doubly excited that we want to hear all about it! We’ll follow them anywhere, which is sure to lead to laughter and good times.
Pick a location where they feel comfortable
Heading to a never-before-seen location with your kiddos can create a sense of unease, or lead to distracting curiosity. Shy children may be wondering “what do we do here?” which can create a situation where we’re relying too much on prompts from the photographer, leading to inauthentic moments. Or they may want to run off and explore, making it hard to keep them close for creating connection. Your child will feel most comfortable at home, around their neighborhood, or parks they visit frequently. Bonus: these locations are meaningful to you and add sentimentality to your images.

4. Don’t rush

You may think that it makes sense to book a short session for your children, thinking it is less time that they’ll have to behave. I disagree. I think we all feel a certain amount of pressure when sessions are rushed, and kids can feel that. It often brings out the natural contrarian in them which we respond to with all sorts of bribery.

Imagine a different scenario. I show up to your home or favorite park for a non-rushed, 90 minute session. I can take time to play with your kids before taking any pictures, allowing them to warm up to me. They can show me what they’re excited about while I capture genuine moments of happiness. There’s time for parents to have a coffee, put on music, snuggle with your kiddos, play games, get a snack - whatever feels good to you all in the moment. By the time our session is over your kids won’t want me to go home because they’ll be having so much fun. At some point during this time everyone will be relaxed and content enough to grab a few traditional, everyone looking at the camera and smiling portraits, without making it the focus of the session.

5. Trust me

Not infrequently, parents will be stressed and apologetic when their child doesn’t smile or look at the camera for a photo. I always tell them - “I’m not stressed out about it, and you shouldn’t be either.” Friends, we’re going to get the photo at some point during the session, and those moments when kiddos aren’t “behaving” often lead to pretty amazing candid moments. I have been doing this for a decade, and I have seen every tantrum and bad attitude imaginable. I’m also a mom to four young children. Life is hard, parenting is hard, and I do not judge. But I need you to trust me when I say, your family does not stress me out. Your kiddos do not stress me out. I am patient and will put in the time and effort to put them at ease and bring out the best in them.